I've been absent from posting for a good reason. The Pumpkin is sick. I am currently at 6 hours of sleep in 48 hours. Who knew a cold, lungs that have us calling her a dragon, and 4 new teeth could be such a monster in an infant. Usually I'm witty, charming, and thoughtful on this blog (or at least I like to think I am). But today, I'm smelly, exhausted, and worried. Really, I think she'll be fine, but its hard to watch your little one scream, and not have much to do for her. Did everyone know that they just took all infant cold medicine off the shelves recently? I would pay for some FDA approved black market stuff.
I've logged about 7 hours in the car over the last two days, because that seems to be the only place she'll sleep for more than an hour. I've also found all the drive-thru Starbucks in town, because that is the only way I can stay awake while driving. I'm happy to report that the new spinich/feta/egg white wrap at Starbucks is pretty good and comes in at 280 calories. I've also tortured her with the snot sucker, taken her in the shower-where she fell asleep because she could breath, rubbed vapor rub on her chest, let her watch TV(something we never do), given her multiple doses of Tylenol, and held her while she screamed....for hours.
I now know how crappy it is to take PTO to stay home with a sick kid. It's 3 times harder than going to work.
Before I get some sleep before the next midnight revolution......nevermind, I'm already halfway there.
BWM
Monday, March 8, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Singing in the HOV Lane
Tonight I picked the Pumpkin up from daycare and we hit the road.
I always have this tinge of guilt when I get on the freeway. I get on at one of those monitored stoplight entrances, and it has three lanes, one of which is an HOV lane. You guessed it, I totally use the HOV lane. I mean there are two people in the car. I heard once that a pregnant woman got stopped for driving in an HOV lane and the cop still gave her a ticket (which she deserved); but she appealed it. The judge apparently ruled that the child had to be born to count. I do get that, but give her brownie points for creativity. I'm actually afraid to look up the real law because I want to be ignorant when the cop stops me and I tell him that my 6 month old daughter is my 2nd passenger. But, before you pass judgement, I use the HOV lane because it goes faster, and the Pumpkin likes the car to move, so really, I'm preventing myself from getting distracted by driving in the HOV lane so she doesn't cry and I can concentrate on the road...(well, that's what I plan to say when they finally stop me).
Today was special, because the Pumpkin was pissed. And, really, she doesn't get pissed very much. She's had a cold and been sounding like Darth Vader for 4 days, and the girl is still smiling and laughing all the time. But I think today she got sick of being sick, because I got to the freeway exit (where of course they don't have an HOV lane) and she started screaming, real gut wrenching crying. If you've never been stuck in traffic with your own infant screaming in the back of the car, you just don't know what its like to have your heart ripped out of your chest. I once watched my friend pull over in a gas station at the point of tears when her daughter did this, and wondered why...until I had my own and did it myself. But tonight, I was stuck on the freeway with no way out.
I decided to sing.
No, I'm not going to be winning any grammy's with my voice, but she immediately stopped crying. I was so afaid she would start again, so I didn't stop, and barely took a breath in between each song. It was quite the medley:
1) Wheels on the Bus
2) Head, shoulders, knees...
3) Itsy, Bitsy, Spider
4) Twinkle, Twinkle
5) Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious (yes i did)
6) Do, Re, Mi (sound of music - usually I sing the entire soundtrack to her; i know its weird, but the only thing I could think of when I first had her; so yes, my child knows Edelweiss)
I'm not advocating this for everyone, because I know I've tried it before and it did nothing. But tonight it worked, so its Bad Working Mom - 1, Crying-baby-in-the-back-seat-gods - 0 tonight. I celebrated by having a beer, yay for me.
BWM
I always have this tinge of guilt when I get on the freeway. I get on at one of those monitored stoplight entrances, and it has three lanes, one of which is an HOV lane. You guessed it, I totally use the HOV lane. I mean there are two people in the car. I heard once that a pregnant woman got stopped for driving in an HOV lane and the cop still gave her a ticket (which she deserved); but she appealed it. The judge apparently ruled that the child had to be born to count. I do get that, but give her brownie points for creativity. I'm actually afraid to look up the real law because I want to be ignorant when the cop stops me and I tell him that my 6 month old daughter is my 2nd passenger. But, before you pass judgement, I use the HOV lane because it goes faster, and the Pumpkin likes the car to move, so really, I'm preventing myself from getting distracted by driving in the HOV lane so she doesn't cry and I can concentrate on the road...(well, that's what I plan to say when they finally stop me).
Today was special, because the Pumpkin was pissed. And, really, she doesn't get pissed very much. She's had a cold and been sounding like Darth Vader for 4 days, and the girl is still smiling and laughing all the time. But I think today she got sick of being sick, because I got to the freeway exit (where of course they don't have an HOV lane) and she started screaming, real gut wrenching crying. If you've never been stuck in traffic with your own infant screaming in the back of the car, you just don't know what its like to have your heart ripped out of your chest. I once watched my friend pull over in a gas station at the point of tears when her daughter did this, and wondered why...until I had my own and did it myself. But tonight, I was stuck on the freeway with no way out.
I decided to sing.
No, I'm not going to be winning any grammy's with my voice, but she immediately stopped crying. I was so afaid she would start again, so I didn't stop, and barely took a breath in between each song. It was quite the medley:
1) Wheels on the Bus
2) Head, shoulders, knees...
3) Itsy, Bitsy, Spider
4) Twinkle, Twinkle
5) Supercalifragelisticexpialidocious (yes i did)
6) Do, Re, Mi (sound of music - usually I sing the entire soundtrack to her; i know its weird, but the only thing I could think of when I first had her; so yes, my child knows Edelweiss)
I'm not advocating this for everyone, because I know I've tried it before and it did nothing. But tonight it worked, so its Bad Working Mom - 1, Crying-baby-in-the-back-seat-gods - 0 tonight. I celebrated by having a beer, yay for me.
BWM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Raising a Part-Time Vegetarian
The Pumpkin is almost 6 months old, yet she has been eyeing our food for at least a month. She goes after everything we eat, so I decided that it was time to start solids. This weekend was going to be the weekend we took the leap. As any other working mom knows, I can't actually do something this momentous on a weekday any longer. I went all out, and we took a trip to BabiesR'Us (don't get me started on this money pit) to gather the neccessary materials -
We got the Pumpkin all ready for her first big foray into solid food. We put her in the high chair, no problem. We bibbed her, no problem. I mixed up the cereal using breast milk according to package directions, no problem. She was so ready...mouth open, she knows it's coming and even wants to help get it in her mouth....and she made a face like I just fed her motor oil. Now, I realize that this process takes time, so I kept trying to feed it to her, and everytime she wanted to eat it (and she did eat it) her face told us that she thought it tasted like chalk. It was like the face you make when you accidentally eat the cottage cheese that's been in the fridge for a week too long, only to realize it has green fur growing in the container. So, I did what any mother would do, I tasted it. It tasted like brown rice.
Maybe some babies like brown rice, but my baby was not amused. I promptly went to the store that evening, purchased white rice cereal (non-organic, full of chemicals) and she slurped it down the next day. No icky face, and loved every minute of it. I'm sure my Grandmother would've thought I was ridiculous trying to feed my baby organic brown rice, since she always says that organic is just stuff grown in cow shit(although, Grandma is a bit more eloquent than that). And much to Grandma's dismay, I will continue to try and feed her the organic products we eat, so that she too can one day be a part of my beloved Part-Time Vegetarian demographic; no Coke, no Twinkies in this house. But, today, I'm going to stock up on that non-organic white rice cereal.
BWM
- Hi-Chair - check
- Bowl - check
- Spoon - check
- About a million other things she didn't need - check
- Organic Brown Rice Cereal - check!
We got the Pumpkin all ready for her first big foray into solid food. We put her in the high chair, no problem. We bibbed her, no problem. I mixed up the cereal using breast milk according to package directions, no problem. She was so ready...mouth open, she knows it's coming and even wants to help get it in her mouth....and she made a face like I just fed her motor oil. Now, I realize that this process takes time, so I kept trying to feed it to her, and everytime she wanted to eat it (and she did eat it) her face told us that she thought it tasted like chalk. It was like the face you make when you accidentally eat the cottage cheese that's been in the fridge for a week too long, only to realize it has green fur growing in the container. So, I did what any mother would do, I tasted it. It tasted like brown rice.
Maybe some babies like brown rice, but my baby was not amused. I promptly went to the store that evening, purchased white rice cereal (non-organic, full of chemicals) and she slurped it down the next day. No icky face, and loved every minute of it. I'm sure my Grandmother would've thought I was ridiculous trying to feed my baby organic brown rice, since she always says that organic is just stuff grown in cow shit(although, Grandma is a bit more eloquent than that). And much to Grandma's dismay, I will continue to try and feed her the organic products we eat, so that she too can one day be a part of my beloved Part-Time Vegetarian demographic; no Coke, no Twinkies in this house. But, today, I'm going to stock up on that non-organic white rice cereal.
BWM
Friday, February 19, 2010
Drinking the Kool-Aid
My best friend is pregnant. In fact, she is very pregnant, i.e. she could blow anytime in the next 3 weeks. We talk almost every day and sometimes we talk about nothing, and sometimes we talk about life changing stuff. Lately, we have lots of conversations about pregnancy and babies. She asked me a question, a very normal question, to which any polite person would've have lied to her and moved on, but I told her the truth. She asked, "Are you finding the balance between work and the Pumpkin?"
I said no. Flat out no.
I went back to work after a luxurious 4.5 months off with my Pumpkin, and have been back at work one month today. I told her no, because I don't believe that balance exists in this scenario. I want it all, but I don't think you can have it all. There, I said it, in public! - take that all you "Supermoms".
I absolutely love my job, and I love my company, and I love the people I work with. But, I really think that if you have a job like I do, where you work 45+ hours a week, and you have a 6 month old, you aren't going to find the balance, because your heart is ripped out every time you leave your child, and every time you pick them up.
(Okay, you may be wondering if I said it like that to my pregnant friend who is about to pop, who was sooooooo hoping I would say yes to her question----I totally said it like that, sorry friend).
But seriously, you "Supermoms" out there can't seriously look me in the eye and tell me that you do it all, and do it all well?! You can't, because you don't have enough time.
Here is my day, lets count the hours I get with the pumpkin:
5:15 - Pumpkin Wakes
5:15-6:30 - Pumpkin Eats (Breastfeeding) while Mom dozes in the chair
6:30-7:00 - Mom and Dad attempt to get ready while swapping Pumpkin watching duties
7:15 - Dad takes Pumpkin to Daycare and Mom goes to Work
7:30 - 415 - Mom Works/Pumpkin at Daycare
*9:30 - Mom Pumps (Seriously, I have to get credit for this)
*12:30 - Mom Pumps
*3:30 - Mom Pumps
415-4:30 - Mom picks up Pumpkin
4:30-5:00 - Mom Drives home - Pumpkin in back seat
5:00 - 5:25 - Mom plays with Pumpkin
5:25 - 6:00 - Day plays with Pumpkin while Mom starts Dinner
6:00 - 6:15 - Mom and Dad try to prolong Pumpkin's awake time, at this point she is cranky (sometimes bath time)
6:15 - 6:25 - Mom and Dad get Pumpkin ready for bed
6:25 - Pumpkin Eats
6:30 - 7:00 - Pumpkin in bed
*10:00 - Mom Pumps (it just makes me feel better to know other people know I have to do this all day!)
5:15 - Pumpkin Wakes up....you get it.
If you are looking at this with a close eye, I get 25-45 minutes with my daughter when she isn't eating or sleeping every day. This is ridiculous; I mean they should call child protective services on my Bad Working Mom Ass. Look, I love my job, but I love my daughter more. And just so you don't think I'm a big whiner, I am actually taking steps to get more than 25 minutes a day with her, but it’s just not going to happen tomorrow.
Here is what really gets me going though...I am all for making your own choices, I did. And, I will come right out and say I am envious of those fabulous stay-at-home moms. But the fact that I have to pretend like this situation is healthy, and it's a balanced way to live....blah, blah, blah. I'm just not going to drink that Kool-Aid anymore. Women in the workplace have been shoving that toxic drink down my throat since I was in diapers, and I didn't realize that it wasn't true until I had a baby. There are plenty of working moms out there, that do the best they can, and I believe they do, because I do. And, some people choose this as their path, and that's okay. But don't tell me its fine and dandy, and everyone does it because they WANT to, most do it because they have to.
So here is my pledge;I will not tell the next generation you have to do it all. I will tell them you get to choose your path, and it doesn't matter what that is, you just have to find a way to be okay with the path you choose.
Still finding my okay path....
BWM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Pumping for the Pumpkin
My almost 6 month old daughter, i.e. the Pumpkin, is the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm sure most parents would say this about their children. And, like most parents, I would do anything for her. I chose to breastfeed my daughter. In the beginning, it was difficult, but after we got the hang of it, it was no problem. The four months I was off work after she was born, I could feed her wherever and whenever. I am also a born procrastinator (thank you very much for that trait Mom), so I put off pumping and storing extra milk before I went back to work.
Nowadays I wake up with boobs the size of softballs (because before they were only the size of lemons, so this is relative to my big cheasted friends out there). I'm always creating my own river in the bed; a nice cold wet spot to roll over in the morning. And, I'm torturing my body. I can tell things will not be in the same place when this is over.
At work, I'm lucky as I have my own office with a door that locks. But the pain of the process is all the cleaning of supplies and transferring of milk- morning, noon, and night. Because of this, I make several trips between my office and the kitchen each day. When you wear a lot of dresses (because you just had a baby and none of your pants fit properly), you practically have to undress to pump. More than once I've walked out of the office with something hanging out.
All of this leads me to the only benefit of pumping for the Bad Working Mom...the caloric burn. I know there are health benefits for the Pumpkin, but, seriously, at this point, I think I'm keeping it up for the "exercise" it provides. Come on, I'm a working mom; I'm not really exercising much. Yes, my life would be easier if I just said we were switching to formula, but I would lose out on all those calories. So, when people ask me if I'm breastfeeding (which you'd be amazed at how many people ask that question), I say yes. And when they say how wonderful it is that I've kept doing it for so long, I nod and smile and agree on all the health benefits of it for babies. And when they ask how long I plan on doing it, I say, “as long as I can keep it up", But, what I really mean to say is "yeah, I'm doing it until my pants fit again".
Here's hoping I lose the weight before she turns three...
Nowadays I wake up with boobs the size of softballs (because before they were only the size of lemons, so this is relative to my big cheasted friends out there). I'm always creating my own river in the bed; a nice cold wet spot to roll over in the morning. And, I'm torturing my body. I can tell things will not be in the same place when this is over.
At work, I'm lucky as I have my own office with a door that locks. But the pain of the process is all the cleaning of supplies and transferring of milk- morning, noon, and night. Because of this, I make several trips between my office and the kitchen each day. When you wear a lot of dresses (because you just had a baby and none of your pants fit properly), you practically have to undress to pump. More than once I've walked out of the office with something hanging out.
All of this leads me to the only benefit of pumping for the Bad Working Mom...the caloric burn. I know there are health benefits for the Pumpkin, but, seriously, at this point, I think I'm keeping it up for the "exercise" it provides. Come on, I'm a working mom; I'm not really exercising much. Yes, my life would be easier if I just said we were switching to formula, but I would lose out on all those calories. So, when people ask me if I'm breastfeeding (which you'd be amazed at how many people ask that question), I say yes. And when they say how wonderful it is that I've kept doing it for so long, I nod and smile and agree on all the health benefits of it for babies. And when they ask how long I plan on doing it, I say, “as long as I can keep it up", But, what I really mean to say is "yeah, I'm doing it until my pants fit again".
Here's hoping I lose the weight before she turns three...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Writer's Battle
I am, admittedly, not the best writer. My husband could have been an english major, and has tremendous writing skills. I use prepositions incorrectly and say "a whole nother". My husband has been writing a book. He has been writing this book for over a year. He has maybe shared 2 pages with me, and my understanding is that he has over 50,000 words written. From the small amount I've read, I think it is loosely based on his life experiences, and I know it is funny. He claims that he wants me to read it for the first time because it will be fresh, and I'll be able to give him a good critique. I don't doubt his sincerity, but its been so long, it doen't even drive me crazy anymore, I've just given up on ever seeing it.
The question is...do I let him see the blog? He is blissfully unaware and doesn't participate in any social media beyond his email address. In fact, I've plastered this blog all over the place, and I know he wouldn't find it unless I lead him directly here. Today I decided to tell him about the blog, but not tell him where it was...and then I broke down and emailed him the address. (Yes, you guessed it, I'm a model of willpower).
Anyways, when you've been together as long as we have, you sort of just accept things about the other person. I still bug him about the book and showing me the pages, but he knows that I'm fine waiting. And despite his cool demeanor when I told him I started a blog and wasn't going to tell him where it was, he would go crazy trying to find it on the internet...he may even join facebook?!
Seriously, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be able to hold up this charade of working, having a baby, and living a normal life. Thank god for true love.
The question is...do I let him see the blog? He is blissfully unaware and doesn't participate in any social media beyond his email address. In fact, I've plastered this blog all over the place, and I know he wouldn't find it unless I lead him directly here. Today I decided to tell him about the blog, but not tell him where it was...and then I broke down and emailed him the address. (Yes, you guessed it, I'm a model of willpower).
Anyways, when you've been together as long as we have, you sort of just accept things about the other person. I still bug him about the book and showing me the pages, but he knows that I'm fine waiting. And despite his cool demeanor when I told him I started a blog and wasn't going to tell him where it was, he would go crazy trying to find it on the internet...he may even join facebook?!
Seriously, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be able to hold up this charade of working, having a baby, and living a normal life. Thank god for true love.
Monday, February 15, 2010
How many diapers should I bring?
First, we were on our way to see my aunt, who was gracefully saying her goodbyes to loved ones after 3 years of fighting off cancer. She passed away this last week, but I know, if she could have seen this story, she would have thought it was hilarious. We were so lucky to have time with her, and for her to meet our daughter before she passed away. She will be missed.
Our plans were close to last minute considering the circumstances, we had made our reservations about 2 weeks in advance. We were blissfully unaware of what is now known as "Snowmagedden". When you travel with an infant, you need to plan and pack, and plan some more. I am a planner, and everything has a place, and we were in good shape for a quick 4 day trip to the east coast. We brought the heavy guns this time, which means the carseat, the base for the carseat, the stroller, the diaper bag, a baby bjorn, and mom and dad each with their own backpack. Plus, we were going from sunny california to sub 30 degree temperatures, so we were also carrying coats, scarves, and hats.
Fast Forward....we landed a full 24 hours after we were supposed to land on the way there, it was a LONG trip. Our daughter only had one diaper blowout in the Phoenix airport, and was pretty good the whole way there...it felt like the trip home would be a piece of cake considering the time it took to get there.
Never underestimate the power of a child. We have, what most people consider, to be an easy baby. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 months old, and she really only cries when she needs something. However, 2 hours into our 5 hour flight home from the east coast things went bad. Our daughter started screaming, and we couldn't get her to go to sleep. I had bought extra diapers in the airport...(for anyone that has tried to do this, they only carry size 3 and charge you $7 for 2 diapers, I assume because they can, assholes). Really, I thought we had enough, but she proved us wrong, and we ran out. First we tried just putting a cloth diaper in the pajamas, but I sat down, and quickly felt a warm rush of liquid run down my leg. Next, it was last resort, no other babies on the flight, what I did next I am not proud of, but I needed to do something.
I used the maxi-pads in the bathroom. I plastered one in her already wet pajamas...did I mention we were out of clothes too, do to an earlier diaper blowout? I held that baby in the back of the plane, swaying side to side for almost 2 hours, until she finally decided to calm down and go to sleep, just as we descended.
For those of you out there that don't have kids......
1) I do not want my baby to scream any more than you do, I promise
2) When two parents look at each other and say "I don't know what else to do" they mean it, be afraid, be very afraid.
For those of you that do have kids...
1) Bring enough diapers, and don't be cheap, if you think you are going to run out, buy double what you think you need.
2) If you run out, maxi pads do actually work.
BWM
Our plans were close to last minute considering the circumstances, we had made our reservations about 2 weeks in advance. We were blissfully unaware of what is now known as "Snowmagedden". When you travel with an infant, you need to plan and pack, and plan some more. I am a planner, and everything has a place, and we were in good shape for a quick 4 day trip to the east coast. We brought the heavy guns this time, which means the carseat, the base for the carseat, the stroller, the diaper bag, a baby bjorn, and mom and dad each with their own backpack. Plus, we were going from sunny california to sub 30 degree temperatures, so we were also carrying coats, scarves, and hats.
Fast Forward....we landed a full 24 hours after we were supposed to land on the way there, it was a LONG trip. Our daughter only had one diaper blowout in the Phoenix airport, and was pretty good the whole way there...it felt like the trip home would be a piece of cake considering the time it took to get there.
Never underestimate the power of a child. We have, what most people consider, to be an easy baby. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 months old, and she really only cries when she needs something. However, 2 hours into our 5 hour flight home from the east coast things went bad. Our daughter started screaming, and we couldn't get her to go to sleep. I had bought extra diapers in the airport...(for anyone that has tried to do this, they only carry size 3 and charge you $7 for 2 diapers, I assume because they can, assholes). Really, I thought we had enough, but she proved us wrong, and we ran out. First we tried just putting a cloth diaper in the pajamas, but I sat down, and quickly felt a warm rush of liquid run down my leg. Next, it was last resort, no other babies on the flight, what I did next I am not proud of, but I needed to do something.
I used the maxi-pads in the bathroom. I plastered one in her already wet pajamas...did I mention we were out of clothes too, do to an earlier diaper blowout? I held that baby in the back of the plane, swaying side to side for almost 2 hours, until she finally decided to calm down and go to sleep, just as we descended.
For those of you out there that don't have kids......
1) I do not want my baby to scream any more than you do, I promise
2) When two parents look at each other and say "I don't know what else to do" they mean it, be afraid, be very afraid.
For those of you that do have kids...
1) Bring enough diapers, and don't be cheap, if you think you are going to run out, buy double what you think you need.
2) If you run out, maxi pads do actually work.
BWM
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